Appeasing the Fairies 

Val Portelli 

​

We’d lived in the house for a while now, and ‘She who must be obeyed’ had started hinting about bringing it up to date. She wanted a new bathroom, so every spare minute between slaving to earn a crust I hacked at age-stuck tiles and crumbling plaster. 

‘I’m trying to work here. Can you keep the noise down? How can I have a bath when it’s full of debris?’ were my only supportive comments. 

Finally it was done, and peace resumed. We were both happy with the result and things returned to normal. Not for long.

‘That old shed at the bottom of the garden is an eyesore. Have you seen these beautiful summer houses? There’s a sale on at the moment; such good value. Look at this one. It would be perfect for that corner of the garden.’ 

In the thirty years we had been married this was the first time I had felt wary about my origins. When we first met, I told her I was an orphan and all our family photos had been destroyed in a fire. She accepted my story and although over the years we argued about the shed, it was the normal bickering of a married couple, until what started off as a joke became a bone of contention between us. 

As I had kept the secret for so long it was too late now to admit I wasn’t just being awkward, there was a real reason behind my adamant refusal to demolish the shed. I waited until she was enjoying the luxury of a bubble bath in our now perfect bathroom before venturing down to the end of the garden to get advice. 

‘So, in effect you are saying you are giving us a month’s notice,’ Oberon challenged. 

‘No, I don’t mean it like that,’ I tentatively replied. ‘I just came here to ask for suggestions. Since I was made semi-mortal, I’ve lost the fairy instinct. How can I sort out this problem without upsetting my wife even more?’

‘Just put your foot down,’ Oberon responded. ‘She’s a female and obliged to do as her superior demands.’ 

Suddenly a female voice interjected. ‘Stop your wittering Oberon, and start getting the suitcases down from the top toadstools. I’ve been saying for ages this shed needs updating. We can go and stay with my mother for a few weeks and come back when the new building is finished. Fairy gossamer-blue curtains will look perfect. Just insist on that and we’ll be back as soon as it’s habitable,’ Titania instructed me. 

‘Trust the females to solve a problem,’ I thought, as I went in to tell my wife the good news.

​

© Val Portelli November 2015

​

Val Portelli is an experienced writer who has created many books and short stories. You can discover more about Val's books  here. 

​